I observe myself, I lead
We often seek out of ourselves the solution to a problem, the recipe to improve or simply how to overcome an obstacle, when in fact we can get very valuable keys to overcome these challenges by observing ourselves. In this way we evolve and feel more prepared to face any situation in the future.
In tennis you see this in a very clear way. A pupil is able to improve some aspect of his technique simply by observing and taking consciousness. The coach can tell you where to look, for example, “where your racquet ends after hitting the ball”, and the student is more than likely for the simple fact of putting attention on that aspect of his coup, get evolve and improve the termination improved do so the technique itself.
For me to lead is to “get the best out of other people to achieve an end.” But how can I lead myself?
Through the autoobservation. What I think, what I feel in a certain situation. I become an “impartial” observer of myself and make decisions with all the information I get to experiment and re-observe.
I remember the case of a client in a coaching process that was greatly altered in the meetings of work, often wanting to impose its criterion. A first step was to “observe” oneself in those meetings and to detect what their level of “tension” was. The mere observation allowed him to be much calmer and to discover how to “lead” in those meetings to achieve his goals.
Tim Gallwey, in his book “The Inner Stress Game”, recommends a simple tool that is very useful to lead us, called STOP (it is the acronym in English for “step back, think, organize, proceed”).
In short, what Tim Gallwey proposes to us is that whenever we need it, especially when we see that the inertia of our own or a situation drags us, we do a “halt” or “stop” that allows us to face more successfully the situation. It is divided into four steps:
- Back off, get away from the situation, even physically if you can: find a quiet place taking some distance from the situation.
- Think: What am I doing?, what do I want to achieve, why, how do I feel?, etc.
- Organize: With all the information obtained, what do I want to do now, how will I do it?, what steps will I give?, etc.
- Proceed: I return to the place I had temporarily abandoned to proceed with safety and good cheer, knowing what I want to do.
Do I ever feel that life or a situation leads me to where I do not want to go? I have a feeling I’m not doing what I owe? I invite you to make a STOP, big or small, that allows you to become aware of the situation and act as you want.
You’ll be more of a leader of yourself.